The Heart Wants What It Wants

My 19.2-pound baby, Pork Chop, knows what he wants, and he knows how to let me know what he wants. The other day, we ran out of his Science Diet Adult Light dry cat food, the food that keeps him occupied most of his days on this earth. Luckily, I thought, we had some sample packets of Nature's Balance dry cat food stashed away on a shelf, so this is what I put in his bowl before retreating into the other room to work.

When I heard a loud crash in the living room, I ran out to discover that, in a fit of protest, Pork Chop had knocked his bowl over and smacked the food across the floor, as if to say, "I ain't eating this shit!"

I promptly bought a new bag of Science Diet, and all is well in the world again.

—Reporting From Glendale, California